Of Some Words & More

so i have been told.

so i have been told
when the silence finally settles,
a sheen of sadness sinks into my skin
like a second skeleton and
falls asleep.

there, it slumbers until a whisper splinters the air,
and the bones unravel and morph into masks
with eye-holes and breathing space,
until the tongues spill away

and silence quells again.

••ra’ahe khayat

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love letter and a dime.

i have loved you long for longer years, in stories of myth and death and pain, throughout histories of broken tales, and premonitions of mirrors bleeding upon a poem i would, and perhaps should carve out of the chambers beating breathlessly in my heart- a heart that you could quite literally feel dying an asphyxiated death beneath the hollowness of the ribcages you spent your nights painting with. somedays, when the rain is no less than a painless substitution for the ink i fill my copperplate nibs with, i can hear you wordlessly walk the short few steps from the window to the bed, in search of a moonless dusk we both lost somewhere along the way from one year to the next, as the guitar strings and the violin blades tangled away from our skeletal ankles, predilecting pulse in lieu of a coffin coldness.

ossification was just one of the few words i’d taught myself to describe the slow evolution of all those nerves firing and misfiring behind my eyes, as the candles voicelessly faded away from my nails- leaving a charred mass of blade behind, to live with a regret never forgiven (perhaps never even memorized). and how could i possibly forgive you once you nailed our steps to the walls as a scornful portrayal of yesterday, and a cruel mockery for tomorrow- architecting the devastating intricacies of jahannum within the labyrinthine abstractions of jannah.

sing my darling, i should like to whisper, but today, i’d much rather be sucked under the vortex of reality than swim in the shallow water illusions of fantasies, and fate, and folklores about victorian chandeliers hanging inside greecian palaces, where a solitary raven cries away to the crescendo of a corroded leviathan gateway descending upon a widow’s bouquet of stygian roses. i wouldn’t be a mourner- someone haunting pages of literature with a million expressions and phrases about how sunsets on boneyards awakened a long dead body with a longer dead heart as it simply brushed away decayed decades off it’s veins and begun beating to the notes of my flute in a strange forgotten symphony- no, i’d much simply rather be one of those dark eyed dames you’d see crossing the roads, (when cars chase a scarlet comet with headlights and horns) walking with footsteps feathering on losing and belonging. just never quite anywhere- yet completely never- nowhere.

••ra’ahe khayat

the folding and unfolding of a love-story.

i.

it began on the fourth week of february
when she fell in love with
a bird under a man’s skeleton.

before march stole in through the chimney,
she was licking at the little pockmarks
his beak had left on her lips
after they kissed.

i’d wondered if he was a jay bird;
she wondered if she was loved back.

ii.

april came with her days on her tongue,
and her nights behind her spine
she’d spent at the feet of her faith.

they both were born to gods
holding carvers to the other’s neck.

they both were born to gods
who never forgave.

mid may,
she hummed hymns into the hollow of his hips,

and he said—

‘we are children born to never love
but to only pray for the longing to wane
into

w h  i   s    p     e      r       s.’

iii.

it was on the seventh day of june
when she moved her heart
into the woodpecker’s hole he’d dug on her scapula:

covered with a stretch of skin
no rock dove would ever steal.

••ra’ahe khayat

how rosaries hold prayers.

i.

if we could make fish-tails out of poems
i would fold you into a myth,
and write you on the inner wall
of my last dorsal bone;

but we’re humans
—i and you—

and we breathe like most birds do
when autumn vines hang out their hearts
for passersby to tie dying wishes
to dried wishbones.

ii.

and years, and luna said—
‘wishes ever outgrow the secrets that cradle them.

whisper your whims whence they’re never heard,
and widowed sylphs might bear them home.’

iii.

you blew out candles on my ulnar nerves
to truss my heart to your bone;

and we were decades before we were lovers.

and we were ended
before our eyes learned to blink.

iv.

and luna said—
‘the love you loved was forebound to leave.’

v.

i pressed my prayers to your rosary
and your rosary to my chest,

and you threw a stone at the sky
and it shattered over us like our faiths.

••ra’ahe khayat

call (l’appel du vide)

and for years i’ve heard it-
a call

a lover’s call;

whispering and settling over my bones
like my skin does
– on most days when it is not being pulled apart
by those laodicean sparrows –
like a vow does
– during weathers when they bury their tongues
in octagonal caskets anchored
to my wrist –
like longing does
– each time the night parts my thighs
and slips in –

within

where a stranger voice from the skies
– from the void –
echoes.

••ra’ahe khayat

leave, for there isn’t much to stay for.

2bbbec97bd86eae5a789b4a926d15804if you have come to leave, then do not stay by me with your breath reeking of yesterdays -time decays by days, heart decays by the hours- and i and you, we decayed in the heartbeats it took for the sparrows to migrate from northern longings to southern silences.

if you stay, but do not remain, then be there in that faraway land where the sky weeps into your palms, with the very lover you keep leaving behind, simply to come watch me fall;
but
if you must, then be here until the very end, when the rocks fill my marrows, and exorcise them of the monsoon that grieves without rain.

if you have come to but watch the stars lose their grip on my hair, then flit away little bird, the earth is yet to learn to fill the spaces under the skin of those left with much but ghosts;
-i’ve had far too many lovers to remain human. i’ve loved your heart in far too many ways to remain with one.

if you last to only feast on the memories buried in my areola, then perhaps you musn’t- there isn’t much brown that lingers on my nerves,
there isn’t much of the blue either.

••ra’ahe khayat

death is as delicate as life is callous.

you watch the day breakdown in quite hymns and lose its faith in quieter breaths at moments when it becomes more and more difficult to watch the blue jays on your window sills struggle to fly with half torn wings.

you listen to the afternoon wail and beg the same way an old man begs for his wife (dead for a decade now) to hold his fingers against her breast and remind him that he can forget to take another breath and still remember the sound of her last one.

it’s here today- a sun that is struggling to rise from its grave, because sometimes the dead die in the most phlegmatic of ways-

in the eulogies of themselves that never spoke of their name.

••ra’ahe khayat

News, and news and some more news!

Book news—

As some of ya’ll might be aware of, I occasionally write for Sudden Denouement: A Global Divergent Literary Collective. A couple of months ago, the editors approached me to contribute to the new anthology they were curating along with the other members of the collective; and what an honor it has been to be a part of this extremely talented group. The book came out on the 20th of June, and I promise you, it is easily one of the best collection of poems you’d ever read. I really really hope ya’ll check it out, because it is just so worth it. Trust me.

Anthology Volume I: Writings from the Sudden Denouement Literary Collective

40616254.jpgAnthology Volume I: Writings from the Sudden Denouement Literary Collective is a thoughtfully curated compendium of the best writing published online by the Sudden Denouement Literary Collective from its launch in August of 2016 through April 2018. It includes 138 pieces of cutting-edge poetry, prose and short fiction written by 29 diverse writers from England, Romania, Japan, India, Finland, the United States and Canada. Thirty-one of the 138 pieces were written exclusively for the Anthology. This volume captures the astonishing raw power of these individual and united poetic voices.

—Get your copy—
amazon || goodreads
Advance praise—

“If you find yourself hungry for the kind of words that walk boldly into the dark filled spaces of your poetic heart, be prepared to put your dancing shoes on.  This anthology is a collective kaleidoscope of fragmented and pulsing light from some of the most talented writers around the globe.”Alfa

“One of the delights of this collection is the sheer diversity of voices, unconstrained, with differing syntax, forms, loss of form, deliberate omissions and styles, one moment you are reading a condensed prose-poem about the origin of life, the next a confessional bleeding rip from the heart about love and drugs. Nowhere else in modern collections have I found such a mélange of tongues, all begging questions, responses, emotions, some disgust, horror, desire. Volume 1 is a true kaleidoscope of the human experience, doused in realism and the phantasmagoric with absolutely no brake fluid.”Candice Louisa

“In fact, this book served as a literary map leading me through landscapes of the human experience not found in other poetry and prose that I had read elsewhere. This is due in part to the curators’ attention to diversity of experience and culture. I marveled at the harmony of voices, each speaking truth from its corner of the world.”Mariah Voutilainen

♠ ♠ ♠

The resurrection of Ophelia

This is a very very unofficial announcement of my first book that I’ve thought of writing. It is a collection of poems, and I swear to you, it is going to rip into your souls and feed on your heart.

I will have more details on it once I have made some headway into the book, but so far, I’m just building up the skeleton because the story I want to tell is far to vulnerable and much too delicate, I fear it would shatter if I don’t tread carefully. I will however be posting little snippets of the book on my social medias. For me, writing a book takes too much courage, and just the idea of it is already killing me, so I hope you would be as excited by the idea of it as I am.

 

Social media news—

I’ve just made a facebook and a goodreads page since I now have an official book in the market to my name (even if it is an anthology lol :3), so will you please please pretty please give it a like/follow? I’m also attaching my twitter and instagram page, and if you’re not following me yet, you should, because I will be posting all about the The Resurrection of Ophelia on there♥

Facebook || Goodreads || Twitter || Instagram

raahe